My Diamond Life

FINALLY!! My baby girl is out :) And of cos she had to make an entrance. This is roughly how it all happened...

17th Dec - roughly abt 10.00am
I got up and got ready to go for my final checkup. Due date was yesterday, but we purposely made an appointment a day later, just in case, u know, to make sure i feel some kind of heavy contraction to indicate the baby is ready. Still nothing. Sooo...we made our way to the doc. I brought my air zam zam just in case hehe.

Got to the hospital, waited for my turn and got sent to the 3rd floor for CTG test. This test is to monitor the fetal heart rate to see if everything is ok. And so i was strapped on to the machine for abt 15-20 mins and was feeling nauseated the entire time. Probably from lying down too long. After the longest time the doc came to check me out n the result from the CTG. I kinda felt that something was gonna go wrong somehow but waited anyway for her response. Of cos, as expected she said that my graph was "not right" or "tak cantik". She then did a physical check on me and i wasnt dilated nor was my cervix open. So she said to monitor for another 15 mins, of which i was on the verge of puking until the nurse came back to check on me. According to the nurse if my reading was still "not right" i might be scheduled for a c-section the same day. Tho i was really desperate to have my baby out of me, the thot of surgery was kinda daunting at that moment. Crossing my fingers, i brought my graph down and wait for my turn to see the doc n get a scan.

And so..in the scan we cud see that the baby was still high up but i was losing water as well. She then announced that i was to go for a c-section immediately to get the baby out, i was scheduled that afternoon. As i waited for my op, i started calling my family to tell them the news. I was then immediately sent to my room to be prepared for my c-section.

I felt that it all went quite fast, as i got the epidural injected in my spine i started to feel the chills of having my tummy cut out while i was awake. Tho i cudn't feel anything below my waist after that i still felt like i was in the SAW movie. When my doc came in, i knew there was no turning back, tho i knew i had no choice anyway hehe. After minutes of tugging feeling the doc called my hubby to come in to witness the delivery of our daughter. He came in, held my hand n suddenly it was TIME! The anesthetist started pushing my stomach n told me to relax cos he's gonna push the baby out. After a few hard pushes on my tummy, i suddenly felt light as a feather n i cud finally breathe! And my hubby told me that she's out! My doc told us that our baby had her cord around her neck so tight and it was a lucky thing that i was scheduled for an emergency c-section that day.

I din get to see my baby till after she had her checkup n while the doc was sewing me up they brought her in. I had mixed feelings then, happy, confused, tired, everything at once. I was also wondering why she looked the way she looked hehe...small, red, n confused n not as i expected. It took awhile till the doc was done with me n i was then sent back to my room. That was like an hour or 2 later.

After all the phone calls and announcements, they brought in the baby n i finally got a good look at her. Okay, now she looks cute, i thot hehe n that was how Eryna was brought into this world n i was as happy as a bird! FINALLY!

Seriously. I'm hungry all the time! I keep hearing my doc's voice in my head telling me to munch on crackers n stuff but sadly all i can think abt are cheeseburgers, nasi lemak, sardine curry, KFC, u get the drift. U know, before my pregnancy I always thot that this is the time to really stuff my face without all the guilt. But that's before I knew abt stepping on the scale at EVERY visit to the doc. And that's also before I knew that the ideal weight gain is 1kg per mth. WTF.....n i thot being pregnant is abt getting away with stuff, mainly food...HEH!

Anyways after abt 30 mins of trying to convince myself that i dun really need that burger, I made myself one. With Cheese. OMG it tasted so freakin goooodd...n my baby seem be kickin in agreement too :) So hooray for me n my weak self!

Tick tock tick tock...41 days to go....(n we'll worry abt scraping that cheeseburger off then ;p)

Ah finally i'm in the Third Trimester and the fear for labor is starting to creep in slowly. I am so sure there's gonna be a whole lotta pain to bear with, epidural or not....but if i've survived this far then insyaallah i'll do ok hehehe. I'm actually kinda excited at the same time, sometimes wishing that THE day is tomorrow so that i dun have to be pregnant anymore, and curious to meet my baby who has been kicking my gut every single nite that it makes it hard for me to have a good nite's sleep (already!). Not like i'm gonna have much sleep the next coming months but anyways....Oh did i mention it's a girl?? :D

My nesting instinct is starting to kick in full force too...and staying with dear mom is not easy, especially when i also have to share the house with my 2 nephews and adorable-but-extremely-bossy niece - n they all seem to be growing so fast nowadays. The first floor is off-limits, cos that's THEIR territory...so that leaves me the second living room upstairs, which i can utilize during my confinement period in peace with one condition: get rid of the freaking mess. And it IS a freaking mess. In my condition, at 8 months, i might as well move out to a whole new place or i mite just give birth there n then while cleaning the whole place. Unfortunately, we can't afford to move out just yet, with only my dear husband getting the dough, n that's nothing compared to what we have to go thru everyday of our lives. But let's not get into that cos it can be extremely depressing. Anyways the point is...no suitable place for me n the baby n i'm panicking like mad. But then again, it could just be me n my raging hormones. Heh.

On the brighter side, I am lucky that my sister and a friend of mine has also donated their baby stuff, hooray for (literally) poor me. Thanks Kak Mons n Ivy babes! But seriously the list of things to do or to prepare for just keep coming in. Next thing im looking out for now is a tukang urut for at least 3 days after i give birth, and damn i din know all this stuff is so expensive too. And according to my sister n my mom, i dun really need to get all those set bersalin etc cos all i need to do is follow the pantang regime n make sure i dun cheat with the bengkung hehe n i'm good to go n will be back in shape in no time. Soo...we'll see how it goes..Btw all those packages are not cheap either, going at around RM200 and up. Yowzer!

Tick tock tick tock...33 weeks pregnant and 49 days to go! Yahoo!! *GULP*

7 months, after a hearty Mushroom Melt Burger @ Titanium :D

I'm now at the end of my 25th week of pregnancy (yay!!) and dead bored staying at home, apparently taking a rest from the stress and miserable life of the evil world out there...or so i thought, or planned. The past few months turned out to be quite stressful to me, due to the "Do's and Don'ts" that i simply must adhere to (or else), courtesy of my mum and my relatives. The miserable part of it all is that the "pantang larang", according to them, if not followed will have a horrifying effect on my baby. And it's really sad when it's your own family members whom u turn to for comfort, giving you 90% nightmare stories and saying bad things about your baby (that is still inside you for God's sake) leaving u helpless and spending sleepless nights praying that she will turn out to be as beautiful as u have always dreamed of - and this is my first one after the ectopic. Tho i dearly love them....Thanks a lot for the extra depression!!!

Some of the things that i "musn't do" that i find quite disturbing:
1) I musn't look at weird things or animals
2) I musn't watch horror movies - which sucks the most cos i'm a fan of horror movies and please, i am aware that it's all just a movie...hallo....?

And so, in search of my own comfort, apart from soothing words from my hubby who feels it's all absolute rubbish (thank u sweetie :D), i found a few articles on the web that proves i am not alone in thinking that during this wonderful period of being pregnant, i should concentrate more on healthy eating and thanking Allah for his wonderful gift to us, which at one point i thought was never gonna happen, instead of being paranoid all the time. Alhamdulillah :)

Some of the articles that i found quite interesting (in Malay) about the Malay's "pantang larang" or Do's and Don'ts / taboos during pregnancy:

1) http://lelabu.com/blog/2006/11/03/pantang-larang-semasa-mengandung/
I thought this link was quite informative on the "pantang larang" with some interesting comments.

2) http://www.bincang.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1683122
This one has a more extensive comment on the article above by lelabu with some educational point of view based on the Quran.

3) http://pislam.uum.edu.my/portal/?act=quest&do=show&topic=507
A very assuring answer by an ustaz on a question posted by a distressed husband on the taboos practiced by his wife during her pregnancy.

What i found most helpful:

1) http://lelabu.com/blog/2006/11/08/amalan-amalan-semasa-mengandung/
This article is a very soothing one on a religious approach and it tells you what are the surahs from the Al Quran that you should read while being pregnant.

And so....i find it very disturbing that during pregnancy that there are apparently so many things that you're not supposed to do when it should be a time of joy. Although some of it should be taken into consideration as they do have some health benefits to a pregnant woman, i believe some are just ridiculous and only cause more emotional damage. As what my dear husband says, i shud not let it get inside my head, as it is causing me more stress than anything, instead concentrate on keeping healthy and getting ready for the big day and have faith that everything is gonna be ok. And on my next visit to the doc, i am so bringing up this subject and absolutely anxious to hear her medical point of view on this.

My favourite song at the moment.. ahh... :D Yes i am aware that it's not house music...so cannot is it??

I'm Yours - Lyrics and performance by Jason Mraz

Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted'
I fell right through the cracks
Now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out I'll be giving it my bestest
And nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn
To win some or learn some
But I won't hesitate, no more, no more
It cannot wait
I'm yours
Mmmhmm mhmm (hey hey hey)
Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing
We're just one big family
And it's our god-forsaken right to be loved love love love loved
So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours
(scat)
Won't you scooch on over closer dear, and I will nibble your ear
Whooaa whooa whoa whoa whoa
I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
So I drew a new face and I laughed
I guess what I'ma sayin is there ain't no other reason
To rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue
But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours
[Option 1]
Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find the sky is yours
So please don't, please don't, please don't
There's no need to complicate
Cause our time is short
This oh, this oh, this is our fate
I'm yours!
[Option 2]
I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate
I'm yours!


Read I'm Yours lyrics

Just a few months back i was telling myself that i shud just forget about this whole family thing and just concentrate on other stuff like money, money and money. After 5 yrs of marriage and my ectopic tragedy in 2006, i felt that maybe it's just not meant to be. Like ever. Plus i was overly stressed with the fact that i'm staying at my mum's place - and she doesn't really let me forget abt that fact n so i m constantly reminded, like on a daily basis - n that my husband's a musician. Tough shit.

And suddenly one day i started throwing my guts out but of course at that time i was soo convinced that i had food poisoning. Yea, im serious about giving up on the baby thing at that time. So i told my husband; either he gave up too or he din want to give me hope, after a week of complaints of apparently bad food, he told me to go see a doctor. But that's when i suddenly decided to get a pregnancy test first. It was still about money, trust me, cos i thot hey, is it really food poisoning cos i had a very very healthy appetite, much more than usual really, just that i felt like throwing up after. So i thot, goin to the doctor would cost me RM40, at least, so why don't i get a RM10 test kit, if it's negative THEN i'd go to the doctor. Dun ask me how i thot that wud save me money but i guess it was more of me not wanting to give myself hope that i am pregnant, or maybe it was just me hoping that im wrong. I dono. Plus the fact that i'm still traumatized by my hospital stay for the ectopic case. God that was a terrifying AND painful experience.

SOooo i sneaked and got a pregnancy test at lunch time. I dono wat's up with the sneaking but i just felt like sneaking at that time ok! Anyways got home and did the test in the toilet while telling myself that im just losing my mind to stress and it's gonna turn out negative cos it's freakin food poisoning. I din even have to wait 5 minutes (that's how long it says i have to wait on the box) cos 2 lines came out instantly on my stick. And i was like blinking like an idiot in the toilet and felt a rush of happiness which instantly turned to panic cos all the mad visuals of my stay at the hospital started to appear in my head. I was like, what if it happens again?? I mean i've been reading all the articles on the internet that says women who've had ectopic pregnancy are most likely to get it again n stuff n the chances of getting pregnant is very low. Whatever it is it's all bad reviews in there. So i went psychotic and called my husband n told him the GOOD news in a frantic way that sounded like i was gonna die. I swear he prolly thot i'd gone mad. It wasn't until he got home n told me it was all ok that i started to calm down n thot hey, i vomitted din i? Everyone says if u vomitted it's all good...so i was happy! :D


Now here i am...13 weeks pregnant, at the end of my first trimester. Why din i write about it wen i first found out? Din u read?? Im like ultra paranoid!! Altho it all went well so far...i was still very worried abt my pregnancy status. Everyone says that u shudn't announce till after 3 mths cos that's wen ur really sure that everything's fine. So yeah. But i still wanna share my experience from my first trip to the doc up till now cos man...i never thot i'd experience being pregnant. And it's abso-freakin-lutely awesome :)

24th April 2008 - First Visit to the Doc

Very nervous and psychotic. My mind was filled with all the bad things that happened before. At least i din have any bleeding, i thot. My husband insisted that we go to Kelana Jaya Medical Centre cos thats where we went the last time i got pregnant and the doctor was the first to detect my ectopic, hence wrote a referral letter which led me to end up in UH Medical Centre. Dr. Fatima. Very sweet, very precise i must say. Anyways, he says we shud go back to her, which made me feel even more nervous than anything.

While waiting for my turn, and being comforted by my dear hubby, my mind wandered and i started planning how im gonna deal with the bad news, if it was gonna be a bad one that is. And how im gonna tell my boss - well i was still workin "there" like an idiot at that time rite! And then i was called in. OMG!

The doc seemed to recognize me but cudn't recall my tragedy. After flipping thru my file she suddenly remembered n started to ask me what happened the last time n i knew she was kinda anxious to see how it is now with my pregnancy but still she remained professionally calm. Thank God for that cos i swear if she flipped i wud've prolly burn the place down or sumthing. Anyways after the routine check etc we moved to the ultrasound. That's wen i really felt like turning back. Suddenly i din really wanna know. Even hubby stayed where he was and din come with us. The moment she took that thingy and propped it on my tummy she let out the biggest sigh of relief n said " Syukur Alhmdulillah! It's in the womb". I swear i cud've fainted with relief and happiness. And she told me to call hubby n i still remember him smiling excitedly, trying to figure out the blob on the screen, but i knew he was as happy as i was :)

Here's our little blob at 6 weeks (well we din know how far along i was at that time cos both the doc n i were equally paranoid plus my period was irregular so we cudn't really tell from my cycle):